suicide mention=>I just went on youtube and spent like 15 minutes to try and find a video with reasons to kill self. Found it. Started watching, got mad at the person for encouraging suicide, reported video.
I really liked the "Borderline Scorpion" memes because it made me feel like I was not alone in this and that some parts of my personality I had previuosly loathed myself for were really just a part of the disorder because so many people were going through the same things.
Thus I would like to encourage you to share your funny/truly BPD moments and I hope you all understand what I'm talking about and why I'm asking you to do this. I kind of feel better when I read someone's BPD moment and realise I've felt the exact same way and I..laugh with relief? Ok i'm rambling at this point I hope this thread goes live.
I had a bit of an episode yesterday and was begging for attention and then when I did get it, I completely ignored the people who were giving me what I wanted because they weren't who I wanted it from but I refused to talk to the person who I did want it from! My mind is a confusing place...
Post by MarzipanAttack on Jan 13, 2016 18:57:35 GMT
I was laying bed with -100% motivation to do anything, except sleep and check my phone every few hours, because my FP hadn't messaged me since the previous day. I just happened to glance at my computer and remembered I did something in Photoshop Elements the previous night that I wanted to show my sibling. I suddenly had all the energy in the world, got up, showed off my work, cleaned off the dining room table, cleaned the sink full dishes, and drew a little doodle.
I'm really just a hugemess, but I'm alive so there's that.
This morning, my boyfriend was trying to tell me something, and he stumbled over his words a bit, and I immediately made it about ME because my mind was SO CONVINCED that he was treating me like a ticking time bomb and was struggling to find words because he was afraid of my reaction and not because he was tired and not using words correctly. So I felt like a monster, and then I was like, "Wait, it's my fault if people treat me like a time bomb" so I started crying because I felt like a horrible person. All because he paused mid-sentence. #shitborderlinesdo
I broke my own water bottle in a fit of rage because I missed my train yesterday -_- Then I picked up the pieces, put them in the trash, and bought an identical bottle so that nobody knows I had to buy a new one lol