Post by Mea on Dec 23, 2015 7:28:27 GMT
Anonymous asked: I'd like to know more on identity issues with most people who have BPD? I feel like not many people talk about that part enough.
Answer: I think it’s hard for a lot of people to talk about because it’s hard to know where to start! How does one describe a lack of identity? It’s hard to start a conversation about it because there is a… lackness.
Many people, even without BPD, may struggle to find their MBTI type or their favorite band or movie. These are normal. However, I know I struggle sometimes to know who and what I like. My likes and dislikes are sometimes so unknown to me, and they may change depending on the day or even the hour. I can’t build a music playlist for myself because a song I love today I’ll hate tomorrow.
And it’s not just with likes and dislikes, I also struggle to know who I am. I can’t predict what I would do in situations. Even in conversations where someone may say, “Oh, if that were me I would have said this!” I don’t know. What kind of person am I? What would I say in x situation? Would I react with rage? Would I cry? Would I simply walk away?
I struggle to know the role I play in this world or in friend groups. I feel like I need to be assigned a role or else I don’t know how to act or what to say. Like every group of friends has a Mother or a Fighter. Who am I? If someone doesn’t tell me, I may just sit there and try to blend into the background until I figure it out.
I feel like every social interaction is an impromptu casting call. Like someone off screen is screaming “Action!” and I’m left to figure out the part I play. My actions decide the person I am, and I have no idea what part I’m even trying out for.
-Mea
Answer: I think it’s hard for a lot of people to talk about because it’s hard to know where to start! How does one describe a lack of identity? It’s hard to start a conversation about it because there is a… lackness.
Many people, even without BPD, may struggle to find their MBTI type or their favorite band or movie. These are normal. However, I know I struggle sometimes to know who and what I like. My likes and dislikes are sometimes so unknown to me, and they may change depending on the day or even the hour. I can’t build a music playlist for myself because a song I love today I’ll hate tomorrow.
And it’s not just with likes and dislikes, I also struggle to know who I am. I can’t predict what I would do in situations. Even in conversations where someone may say, “Oh, if that were me I would have said this!” I don’t know. What kind of person am I? What would I say in x situation? Would I react with rage? Would I cry? Would I simply walk away?
I struggle to know the role I play in this world or in friend groups. I feel like I need to be assigned a role or else I don’t know how to act or what to say. Like every group of friends has a Mother or a Fighter. Who am I? If someone doesn’t tell me, I may just sit there and try to blend into the background until I figure it out.
I feel like every social interaction is an impromptu casting call. Like someone off screen is screaming “Action!” and I’m left to figure out the part I play. My actions decide the person I am, and I have no idea what part I’m even trying out for.
-Mea
