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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 4:59:49 GMT
How Can I Get Diagnosed?
If you think you have BPD, and you’re planning on getting a professional diagnosis, there are a few things you can do. First of all, Finding the Right Therapist. You want to make sure you find someone who is willing to listen to your concerns and is respectful of your research. In many cases, therapists find it helpful when patients have done homework! The more you know, the quicker they can do their job and get your treatment ready. Recovery take team effort, and you and your therapist are partners on that team.
Something you may want to do is keep a mood diary for a week or two and keep track of your moods to show your therapist. This way they can know how rapid your moods are and the nature of them. Be sure to include what triggered your moods, if they were triggered (or mention “no trigger” if not). Include how you dealt with the mood.
For a lot of people, I also recommend filling out the BPD Checklist and rating each symptom listed on a scale of 1 - 5, 5 being the most severe. You can fill out the checklist and hand it to your therapist or other mental health professional to communicate your symptoms and the severity at which you experience them.
You can also have someone close to you fill out the checklist for you and see how it compares with yours. Sometimes, your loved ones will notice symptoms you don’t.
Also, keep in mind that even if you don’t get a diagnosis, you don’t need the label to get treatment for your symptoms. Anyone can benefit from therapy, and you don’t need to be “sick enough” to deserve help. Try not to be afraid of whether or not you get a diagnosis. You can still receive treatment for your symptoms, and if you have a good therapist, they will work with you to get a treatment which works best for you.
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:02:11 GMT
Can I Have BPD Even Though I Did Not Have a Traumatic Childhood?
Anonymous asked: Can you also be diagnosed with BPD if you have had a good upbringing and not been abused, etc? Because although my mum and dad divorced and used to argue all the time and now my dads left me (haven't seen him in 6 years), I think my ubringing wasn't that bad compared to others, however I do realate to some of the symptoms. Could I still have BPD? I'm 17 by the way. Thank you.
Answer: You don’t need to have had a traumatic experience, or a bad childhood to be diagnosed with BPD. It is common, but it’s not something that needs to happen, the mind is such a funny little thing and both genetics and environmental factors play a massive part in how we develop. Sometimes it can take a small event or nothing at all to set the illness off.
- Renna
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:04:28 GMT
I'm a Teenager. How Do I Know If It's BPD or "Teenage Hormones"?
Anonymous asked: How do you differentiate between teenage mood swings/hormones and actual borderline personality disorder? (I'm under the impression that most psychiatrists/therapists don't like to diagnose teenagers w/ bpd because teenagers are still developing everything.) Asking only because I feel like I identify a lot the common borderline traits, but as a teen, that doesn't make mean I have bpd, right?
Answer: Well, some borderline traits can be found in plenty of disorders and in teenagers, it’s true. What makes someone borderline is those traits’ development into a full blown personality disorder.
A personality disorder is defined by dysfunction in cognition, emotiveness, interpersonal functioning, and control of impulses.The enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations, and it leads to clinically significant stress and/or impairment in social, occupational, and other important areas of function. There are a lot of things which come into consideration while diagnosing, including cultural expectations and even sociopolitical and economic factors. For example, if you experienced a trauma and had a mental breakdown because of it, that breakdown would be considered an expected reaction and not a direct cause of a cognitive indifference. Like the difference between situational depression and clinical depression, where the former could be a natural reaction to a death of a loved one, etc.
Teens are usually not diagnosed with personality disorders, since personalities aren’t fully developed at that age. However, that does not mean who absolutely won’t be diagnosed, as there are people as young as 14 who have received the diagnosis. However, some are simply diagnosed as having “borderline symptoms” and can be treated for those symptoms despite not having the disorder.
I don’t think your feelings should be disregarded because of your age. Whether you are experiencing teenage hormones or a mental disorder, what you’re experiencing is legitimate, and if you feel therapy and/or medication will help you, consider looking into it! Your feelings are valid, whether you have a diagnosis or not. x
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:06:09 GMT
Can Minors be Diagnosed with BPD?
Anonymous asked: Is it possible to have BPD if you're under 18? Everywhere I read says you can't be diagnosed with it unless you're 18 or older. But from the extensive research I've done... almost everything matches up. It's kind of scary.
Answer: Professionals are usually hesitant to diagnose minors because BPD is a personality disorder, and until you are older, your personality and your brain aren’t even fully developed. However, I’ve heard of people as young as 14 being diagnosed. You can also be diagnosed with symptoms of and be treated for those symptoms without being diagnosed with the actual disorder. To be honest, I wish sites would stop saying minors can’t have BPD because it discourages them from getting treatment. Just because you don’t have it now doesn’t mean you can’t have it later. If you read about it and you relate to it, it’s still early enough to catch it before it develops further. People never take teens seriously and then wonder why they hit adulthood mentally ill and without confidence.
Shorts answer is yes, minors can be diagnosed, but they usually aren’t. And if you relate to the symptoms, it’s good you read about it so soon! I won’t say you have BPD or not. That should be a discussion between you and a therapist, if a therapist is something you’re comfortable with/able to do. I would advise you to seek treatment, regardless. Even if you don’t have BPD, it sounds like you’re going through some rough stuff, and you don’t need that label to deserve treatment. <3
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:07:42 GMT
Can I Go Weeks with Borderline Symptoms and then Weeks Without?
Anonymous asked: So I have a question, & your blog is about the best one I've found & was wondering if you could maybe help me? Some months I am pretty much the definition of BPD (almost everything on your check list applies in full power). But some weeks/months I seem to fit none of the criteria. I noticed that stress is a big factor, the more stress the more symptoms. Its like I'm a different person almost. Is this possible for BPD or do you have any ideas on what I should research instead? Thank you so much!
Answer: It sounds like you may be experiencing episodes, so bipolar may be a good starting point? Many people with bipolar can experience episodes lasting days or weeks and sometimes even months, but then go an extended period of time where they are fine. (Some people stay in depressive or hypomanic episodes, and some only experience the episodes sometimes. It really depends on the person.)
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:08:57 GMT
Maybe I'm Just Faking It?
Anonymous asked: this might just be me venting, but I always end up feeling like I'm "faking" my bpd because my symptoms aren't always severe. I dont often feel rage, I'm not very suicidal, Ive never experienced trauma and don't abuse drugs. I don't know what I am
Answer: I understand the fear that you’re just “faking” being mentally ill or being borderline specifically. I mean, I had a psychiatrist this week tell me that I’ve been faking everything and am not even mentally ill at all despite the fact that all of my BPD symptoms are severe and I’ve had numerous hospitalizations. So the fear of being a faker afflicts a lot of us, you’re not alone in that feeling.
It might be helpful to keep in mind that BPD, like many disorders, manifests in a spectrum. Some people are more severe or have more intense symptoms than others, but for the people on the “milder” end of the spectrum, you still meet the criteria for the diagnosis and you still suffer as a result of having borderline. You don’t need to compare yourself to people who may “have it worse” or any bullshit like that, because BPD is a spectrum and there are so so so so many different ways it can manifest. You can have BPD without having rage, you can have BPD without having childhood trauma, you can have BPD without having substance abuse issues. In fact, the last two of those things aren’t even diagnostic criteria, they’re just common borderline experiences. You’re not a lesser borderline just because you haven’t experienced those things. Your diagnosis is no less valid.
There are all sorts of people with borderline and their disorder will manifest in ways that will be different for everyone. You’re not faking anything, dear. You were given this diagnosis for a reason and to be honest, the fact that you feel like a faker makes me think you’re definitely borderline, because that is probably the most common thing we think about ourselves all the time. That we’re just making all this up and aren’t really ill and are just bad people instead. None of that is true, but it’s a very common fear.
That being said, if you really feel like this diagnosis doesn’t fit, like if you feel you’ve been misdiagnosed, then you can always talk about that with your healthcare provider. But from what you’ve said in this ask, I don’t think you’re “ineligible” to say you have BPD just because you don’t really experience the things you’ve listed.
-Pandora
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:16:47 GMT
I Feel Like I Didn’t Experience These Symptoms Until I Read About Them?Anonymous asked: this was partially addressed under the 'do i have bpd?' section, but i have only recently learned about what bpd is and now i'm starting to think i might have it, but i'm worried i don't really, and that i'm just reading about the symptoms and thinking i experience them when i don't. is it common to only think/realize you have certain symptoms after reading about them, when you didn't think you did before? Answer: It’s very common! It’s not unique to BPD, either. Nobody, not even neurotypicals, has perfect self-awareness. People with personality disorders, however, struggle even more with perceiving and processing our identities, thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Sometimes alexithymia plays a role, as we can’t understand what we’re feeling or find words to express it. We might know it when we hear it described, but not be able to describe it ourselves. Because our symptoms colour all of our perceptions so much, it’s hard for us to even perceive symptoms as separate from our sense of self. Basically, we think that our mood swings, impulsivity, etc, are us. We may know that our symptoms distress us, but we may believe we wanted or chose our thoughts and feelings anyway. This (as well as our tendency to think in black and white, all or nothing terms) can make us feel that we are just bad people, because we blame ourselves for symptoms we don’t know how to control. I think only having rolemodels without BPD can be bad for us, especially if we don’t know about BPD. We assume that everybody else feels similar things to us, when actually they don’t! To us, it looks like they are easily jumping over all the hurdles that trip us up, when in fact they don’t have those hurdles in their minds at all. In addition, if you don’t know about BPD, you’re not looking out for the symptoms! It doesn’t mean you didn’t always have those symptoms. Look around and think about how many blue things there are around you right now. Until I told you to do that, you probably didn’t know how many things around you were blue, but now everything blue is jumping out at you. They were there the whole time though! People with BPD also tend to feel like imposters or fakes very often. Both our symptoms and our own efforts to cope with them make us second-guess ourselves constantly. When I’m afraid that I’m faking a reaction or symptom, these things can help: - Taking it seriously - if it’s not as bad as it feels then I’ll be fine anyway, but ignoring/invalidating symptoms may only make them worse in the end
- Asking myself how else I could act/react and thinking about which action/reaction suits my needs and the situation best
- Applying healthy coping strategies that fit the symptoms
- Writing down how I feel right now without judgement
- Keeping a journal or diary of symptoms
- Reading over things I have written in the past about my symptoms
- Making a chart or graph to visually demonstrate to myself what symptoms I have and when
- Reading BPD resources and experiences of other people with BPD
- Talking to other people with BPD about how their symptoms feel and what triggers them
- Talking to a therapist or doctor about my symptoms or asking for more information about BPD
- Using self affirmations
- Asking the people around me what their observations of me are
In summary: You are not invalid if you didn’t recognise your symptoms as symptoms before you started learning about BPD. You just didn’t know what to look for before! - Exo
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:17:56 GMT
Can I Have BPD If a Family Member Has It As Well?
Anonymous asked: Is it possible for me and my sister to both have BPD? How common would it be for 2 people in the same family to have it??
Answer: If you have a family member with BPD, you are actually five times more likely to have BPD than someone who doesn’t have a family member with BPD.
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:19:50 GMT
Do I Really Have These Symptoms, Or Am I Adopting Them/Faking for Validation?
Anonymous asked: My biggest fear: "do I really have virtually every symptom of bpd or did I take on half of them for the means of the desperate need for validation"
Answer: Incidentally, mirroring symptoms and behaviors is kind of a BPD thing. Desperate need for validation is also a BPD thing.
So, whenever you wonder, “Am I just adopting this because I want validation?” That’s pretty borderline of you. ;)
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:25:30 GMT
Do I Need An "Official" Diagnosis in Order to be Valid?Anonymous asked: Hi, Ive been reading your faq on bpd, and from the diagnostic criteria Im 90% I have BPD, but theres no way for me to get a diagnosis right now, and i feel like unless i have an official diagnosis, Im just faking for attention. Is this normal to feel? Also do you have any advice on how to seek help if i cant see a therapist, or Im scared of my family/other ppl knowing that i think i have BPD? Im scared of telling ppl, because i think theyll just tell me Im overreacting, and maybe they're right. Answer: I’m professionally diagnosed and I often feel like I’m faking for attention, hahaha. It is definitely a very common experience for people with BPD! Not having access to a professional diagnosis is of course even harder to cope with. Therapists are not allowed to tell your family or anyone else what you tell them, unless you say it’s okay, or they think you’re about to hurt yourself or someone else. This is called confidentiality. It is scary to tell people, especially if you suspect or know that the people around you won’t be supportive. Here are some ideas for how you might tell people you think you have BPD: - Test their reaction by talking about BPD without mentioning you’re looking at it yourself. You can try to educate them if you’re in a position to do so, or just find out what their beliefs about BPD are.
- Related to the above, you could try telling them that you have a friend with BPD. They might respect your interest in BPD more if they think it is because you know someone with BPD.
- Write a letter or presentation to explain yourself. It’s a big conversation, so having notes or things to show them might help you communicate and them understand. You could bring the BPD checklist.
- Start pointing out your symptoms to people more often. This is scary to do, but people may not even realise how much you’re suffering, which might be one reason why they dismiss you. (You still don’t deserve to be told you’re overreacting, of course.)
- Focus your conversation on coping/treatment, at first. It’s unfair, but people without disabilities tend to shut us down when we’re negative or even realistic/neutral about our disabilities. Talking about how you can make positive changes in your life might make other people see your self-diagnosis for what it is, instead of as “attention seeking” or whatever other stereotypes they have.
- Bring someone supportive with you or have someone else do the talking for you.
Here are some ideas for how to avoid telling people you think you have BPD, but still help yourself: - If you are old enough, you can go to a doctor or therapist without anybody else knowing.
- School/university/college counselors may be able to direct you to free or low-cost services for mentally ill students.
- Ask to go to a doctor or therapist because you are feeling “depressed”/”anxious”/”stressed”/”nauseous”/anything, if this would give you the opportunity to talk to the doctor/therapist alone.
- You might be able to find a DBT group or a support group in your local area (try Google).
- You can use CBT worksheets and/or read Pandora’s excellent DBT skill series here on SBD and manage your own treatment.
- You can read and/or post in the #actuallyborderline tag for resources, advice and community.
- You can make a side blog for your BPD feelings.
- You can keep a BPD or mood diary.
- You can tell only a few people who you trust be supportive.
- Exo
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:26:39 GMT
Does Shit Borderlines Do Support Self-Diagnosis?
In regards to self-diagnosis:
“You deserve help from a professional who is trained to treat you!” Agreed. “Mental illness is just as serious as any other illness and should be treated as such.” Agreed. I agree with these statements, and I will say right now you all deserve the best treatment. For some people, the best treatment does not involve professionals.
Psychiatrists, therapists, etc. are not safe for everyone. While fighting against ableism and the fair treatment of mentally ill people, we must also be intersectional and remember the psych field’s unique treatment of women, POC, trans people, and other minorities. POC are misdiagnosed or undiagnosed all the time due to racism. A trans person with BPD may be denied hormones if they are diagnosed with it by a professional.
“WebMD doesn’t replace years of medical training!” True. Google isn’t a great alternative, but sometimes it is a better alternative, considering how the psych field treats certain identities. Being forcibly institutionalized, being mis/underdiagnosed: these are things which minorities experience in great frequency. Even on this blog, I have had many people come to me saying they have been misdiagnosed by professionals. It doesn’t surprise me.
The psych field is pretty fucking misogynist. Women especially experience a high rate of psychiatric abuse and neglect. Women are frequently diagnosed with mental illness when they display high levels of emotion, or they are not diagnosed with mental and physical illnesses they do have them because doctors tend not to believe women about being in pain out of claim their symptoms are due to ~*hysteria*~. Women, right?
The psych field is especially transphobic. (Just check the DSM.) Self diagnosis AND self-medication is the only way most trans people have access to medical transition at all, due to the medical field not caring about their comfort or their safety. Trans people suffer a high rate of mental illness too, and then their symptoms may be attributed to simply being trans rather than being taken seriously. Alternatively, like I mentioned earlier, some trans people can be diagnosed with a mental illness, and if they later come out as trans, their transness will be labeled as a symptom of that mental illness, and transitioning can become even more difficult for them.
Self-diagnosis is not trying to replace medical experts, of course. It is simply an alternative for some of us to avoid being fucked over by doctors. Because, surprise, doctors are not perfect and are still capable of being oppressive, and the fact they are doctors in positions of power makes them even MORE oppressive and much more powerful than the average person.
I understand the arguments of being anti self-diagnosis, but next time you take that stance, consider just who you’re hurting.
Besides, time and time again, the validating people who self-diagnose has encouraged them to later seek professional help. The more they are invalidated, the less likely they are to seek treatment. So if you really want people to get a professional diagnosis, you'll shut the hell up.
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:30:05 GMT
What is the Best Way to Self-Diagnose?
bi-beaniebabie asked: How do you correctly self diagnose?
Answer: My advice is to simply follow the diagnostic criteria as it’s presented. That’s the exact same thing professionals do. In my experience, I’ve been given a checklist of sorts, and/or I’ve been given a sheet in which I rate symptoms on a scale of 1-5. The doctor then decides if I fit the bill or not. (It’s really not as complicated a process as people think it is!) It may also be worth reading posts by people with the disorder you’re trying to diagnose, see if you relate to things they’re saying. When I was diagnosed with BPD, the symptoms fit and all sure, but I wasn’t entirely convinced of the diagnosis until I started talking to other people with BPD and realized how much we had in common.
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:31:35 GMT
Can I Self-Diagnose, Even If I Am Underage?
Anonymous asked: can I self dx bpd at 13?? I exhibit most of the diagnostic criteria and strongly relate to many of the posts made by the bpd community on tumblr. Most of these traits have been present for at least a year and a half, some of the closer to 4 years. Is it too early to self dx/mention it to my therapist or do I wait a year or two?
Answer: I can’t really tell you when it is and isn’t okay to diagnose. I don’t really know enough about you or your symptoms. :P If you’re seeing a therapist though, it is definitely definitely worth mentioning your symptoms!
People have been diagnosed at your age, but it is rare. Still, regardless of whether or not you have BPD, you are definitely experiencing some symptoms which could become worse over time. The sooner you address those symptoms and get treatment, the better. You may be able to avoid a diagnosis completely. Do NOT wait a few years for your symptoms to get worse. Address them now! Get treatment now! I was definitely experience borderline symptoms at 13 (and even younger), and I wish I had been in therapy then.
It’s never too early to mention your experiences to a therapist. Be open about your symptoms and treat them now. Remember, you don’t need an official diagnosis to get help for your symptoms.
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:33:00 GMT
Is It Okay for Me to Self-Diagnose Even if I Am Able to See a Professional?
Anonymous asked: what do you think of self-dxing even when you have a supportive family and the financial means to seek professional help, but are too afraid of invalidation or placing burdens on your family/friends to do so? i feel so guilty
Answer: There are a lot of reasons someone may self-diagnose, and it’s no one else’s place to judge how someone chooses to approach their mental health. I’m professionally diagnosed, but after all of the psychiatric abuse I’ve suffered, I won’t see another professional. There are many, many valid reasons people don’t see professionals, and self-diagnosis may be the safest and best option for them. And there is no danger in doing so as long as people aren’t self-medicating. (Do not self-medicate!)
It’s also true that most people who self-diagnose eventually seek professional help and get a professional diagnosis. It’s also true that many professionals encourage self-diagnosis, because self-awareness in a patient makes their job easier. (I had a therapist ask me why I hadn’t self-diagnosed with bipolar, and when I asked her if she was okay with self-diagnosis, she told me it was important for people to have control over how they defined their experiences with mental health.) However you decide to get diagnosed, that’s an okay decision, and you’re not a bad person for either choice.
That being said, seeking professional help doesn’t make you a burden either. If you want to see a professional, please do so! If your friends and family aren’t supportive of your decision, then they’re the ones in the wrong.
-Mea
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Post by Mea on Dec 16, 2015 5:33:47 GMT
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