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Post by morethanmydiagnoses on Jan 18, 2016 6:09:48 GMT
Hello everyone,
tw: self harm talk
My name is Helen and I have PTSD, OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, and... apparently also Borderline Personality Disorder. I've known about the first three for a long time, but just got diagnosed with BPD recently so I'm still struggling to accept it. My therapist told me to google Shit Borderlines Do because she said it would help de-stigmatize it and help me come to terms with it.
I'm still a little confused by the diagnosis because the only way I can express anger is through self-injury, and even then I wear long sleeves so nobody knows except my therapist. Is anybody else in this situation? I'm not saying at all that it's wrong to express anger... actually my therapist wants me to learn to do it... I'm just saying that I can't right now and that goes against the "stereotypical" diagnosis of BPD. BUT I have all the other symptoms and I've been to the mental hospital five times so my therapist is positive of her diagnosis.
Anyway now I'm rambling, but I'm just looking for a safe place where I don't have to hide my scars. Even my roommates don't know yet that I have a mental illness because I always wear long sleeves around the house unless I'm in my room, so I exert a LOT of energy into hiding my illness and just need a place where I don't have to do that.
Thanks,
Helen
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Jael
New Member
She/Her
Posts: 18
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Post by Jael on Jan 18, 2016 7:08:35 GMT
Hi Helen, Welcome to the forum! I for one internalize a lot of my anger, especially around people that I'm not 100% comfortable with. I'm really not very good at expressing it and usually it comes out as sarcastic remarks. Not everyone with BPD is inherently angry or prone to lashing out! I personally have a lot of trouble with expressing intense anger. I get really distressed when I am angry due to trauma that has made me really sensitive to both being around anger and feeling it myself. Not sure if anyone else experiences this but I feel like it's kind of relevant? All the best with your journey.
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Post by Mea on Jan 18, 2016 10:03:04 GMT
Hi, Helen! Welcome to the forum!
tw: self harm mention
You're right that expressing anger isn't wrong. Expressing anger is actually very healthy. It's how we express that anger which can end up being unhealthy. I hope we can help you find other ways to express your anger which don't result in self-harm. I also have this problem. When I'm upset, I end up taking it out on myself, especially anger. (I broke my hand this way once..) So you're definitely not alone!
I think it's really cool that your therapist recommended us! I feel so important lol
In the future, could you please be sure to preface posts containing self-harm content (and other potentially triggering content) with a warning, just in case other members could be triggered by the situation? It doesn't matter how you format it, even just a "warning: self harm talk" in the beginning would suffice. :)
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sas
New Member
Posts: 32
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Post by sas on Jan 18, 2016 10:53:43 GMT
Just chiming in so say that I definitely internalise a lot of my anger as well. When I get super angry, I tend to isolate myself and start engaging in pretty self-destructive behaviour.
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Post by morethanmydiagnoses on Jan 18, 2016 14:07:36 GMT
Hi, Helen! Welcome to the forum! tw: self harm mention You're right that expressing anger isn't wrong. Expressing anger is actually very healthy. It's how we express that anger which can end up being unhealthy. I hope we can help you find other ways to express your anger which don't result in self-harm. I also have this problem. When I'm upset, I end up taking it out on myself, especially anger. (I broke my hand this way once..) So you're definitely not alone! I think it's really cool that your therapist recommended us! I feel so important lol In the future, could you please be sure to preface posts containing self-harm content (and other potentially triggering content) with a warning, just in case other members could be triggered by the situation? It doesn't matter how you format it, even just a "warning: self harm talk" in the beginning would suffice. Sure thing! Sorry about that.
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