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Post by septimusprime on Apr 1, 2016 18:38:52 GMT
I have this problem where I really want to tell people about my mental health issues so that they can be more well-equipped to understand and support me. But as soon as I know they know about my symptoms, anything they do to comfort or validate me, I don't trust, because I think, "Well they're just saying this because they know I'm sick and they know this is what they're supposed to say." Sometimes I'll find something that really helps me a lot, but it only works once, because from then I'm just like, "Well, they're only saying these things because they know it's what they're supposed to do. They're just going through the motions. They don't actually mean any of these things. They just know if I'm sick and they don't want to be responsible for making it worse."
Is this something other people experience? It makes it so hard to accept help from anyone at all, because I'm just literally incapable of believing them.
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Post by angelusdemens on Apr 1, 2016 23:15:51 GMT
In my experience, the people who are "[...]just saying this because they know I'm sick and they know this is what they're supposed to say." are the ones who care; if they didn't they wouldn't bother saying it/anything at all. I think it's very easy to feel like people are just 'doing things by rote' or 'going through the motions' with you. and sometimes people are, but the flip side of that is that people have learned/formed habits of saying the same things to you. that means you have impacted their lives, and that they probably care. I used to have what I think is a similar problem with repetition and sincerity, which is to say if people said the same thing over and over I didn't believe it because it didn't feel 'fresh' or whatever, like it lost meaning. but actually now I feel these things gain more meaning over time, because I realized that people don't have to do it. the only reason to learn to say something to someone by rote is because you want to. you want to have the answer for them and be there for them. I don't think the interaction is more hollow as they're doing it because you're sick, in fact it's more meaningful that they have acknowledged that you're sick and are adjusting what they say accordingly. I understand your feeling, and of-course your feelings are valid, but that doesn't mean people aren't trying to be there for you  |
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